Can vs. Want

Often the words “can” and “want” are confused. I’m here to show you that these words mean two completely different things and how you can apply that to your life.

I hear myself and others say the words “I can’t” when we really mean to say, “I don’t want”.

I’m a new huge believer in the common phrase “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.”. We forget how powerful our minds are. By just believing you can, you’ll get further than you think.


“I can’t” is mind blocking phrase. The words “I can’t’ can be removed from your vocabulary by either changing that phrase into “I don’t want to” or “I can”. Next time you say the words “I can’t” think about if you really mean to say, “I don’t want”. If you realize barriers are the reason you are saying, “I can’t” all you have to do it change your attitude.  Think “I can” and you’ll realize it’s easy to move those barriers!


Take some time to think about what you want. If you think, "I can", then you will get what you want.

Now, the hard part is figuring out what you want. The other day I was swimming in the most beautiful swimming hole at the base of a waterfall in Thailand. My friends found a rope swing and right away climbed up the boulders to get to it. I sat there watching them fly off the rope swing into the water. And I kept thinking to myself “You know, you can do that too, if you want to”.

I have always been afraid of heights but somehow in New Zealand I was able to jump out and airplane, happily. That was because I convinced myself that I could and wanted to do it. But then I tried bungee jumping and I didn’t enjoy it. Thinking back, I realize that whole day I was saying, “I don’t want to do this but I should because it will be cool.” I didn’t want to jump off that bridge, so I didn’t enjoy it. From this, I realized that forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do isn’t the way to make myself feel happy.

Back to the rope swing story. I decided I didn’t want to jump off the rope swing. I was perfectly happy swimming in the beautiful swimming hole and laughing and enjoying the time spent with friends. I don’t regret it.

What I do regret is not doing the things I did want to do because I thought I couldn’t do it. That is where regret and sadness comes into life.

It's also important to remember that sometimes you may not want to do something because you are unfamiliar with it. Often times you'll never know if you really don't want to, unless you try. From all my trying to jump off of things, I have decided that's not what makes me happiest. I can be very happy on the ground. There are also many things I thought I did not want to do but realized afterwards that I did like it. Open your mind to try new things. By doing so you'll find out what you like and don't like. So when the time you can better decide what your "I can't" really means! :D


This whole jumping off things example is making me question whether or not I truly don't like it. Maybe next time I'll try jumping off the rope swing and I'll let you know if I liked it that time. Maybe it's just fear of being hurt that I don't want. Humm. See, I don't have life completely figured out. Can anybody ever have life completely figured out? If they could, I'd hope we'd know about it. At least I'm on the search for happiness that's the start, right? 

Why?

“Why?” is my favorite question in the English language. It’s the perfect question. In three letters you can ask the deepest question possible. You can ask “why?” about almost anything. In fact, I can tell you why “Why?” became my favorite question. Probably because my parents always answered my “Why?” questions with genuine answers rather than “I told you so”. Thanks Mom and Dad :). From my childhood of getting real reasons for why I do things such as, going to school and cleaning my room, I started asking “Why?” about everything. And this is the reason (again a word related to the question “Why?”) I am able to appreciate life at such a young age. I am posting this blog entry titled “Why?” is to explain why I started a new blog titled Happy YOU.

Today I consider myself the luckiest person in the world. All of my experiences in this short life have led me to finally figuring out the secret to enjoying my life. Do you know what that is? Is it having a good paying job? Is it owning a house, a car, and having a closet full of designer clothes and the newest electronic toys? No. The secret to enjoying life is happiness. It's easy to forget that's the secret in this day and age. You get caught up in the silly things and lose what's important. 

Why is happiness so important? Because if you aren’t happy then what’s the point? You are always going to be you as long as you live. And if what you are doing isn’t making you happy then why are you doing it? Really think about that. That’s a why question that is going to take us longer to answer. I plan on helping you answer it through this blog.

In my short twenty-four years of life I have been the person who isn’t happy for some silly reason. And in these twenty-four years I have also figured out a way to fix those situations. I’ve been the person who spends my whole paycheck on clothes, hair appointments and gas to get to the job I don’t love. I’ve been the girl who has let my negative reactions to small things effect my whole day. I’ve lived the life of not wanting to get up in the morning because I’m not excited about what I have to do that day. I’ve been in the relationship for the security of having a boyfriend rather than for love. I’ve been the unsure, shy person in the group that people have a hard time talking to. I’ve been the girl on a crazed diet because I thought I was fat. I’ve been unhappy. I’ve found a way to change that. Can you? I’d like to help you do that.

Why? Why do I want to spend my free time typing my life stories to people who may or may not read them? Because I think by sharing my life stories, I can help you. Helping you makes me happy. Stay tuned. I would like to help you figure out how (the second best question in the English language) you can become a happier, more positive person. 


Disclaimer: I'm not perfect. I have not been trained to write such things. I'm simply sharing what I have seen in my life. I'm also not happy, all day, everyday. But I am trying to change my negative thoughts in positive ones so someday I can be happy all day, everyday. Maybe you have some great advice for me. I am open to new ideas and ways you found happiness. Please share, let's work together to find happiness in our lives! :D

First Things First. Questions.

I am not you. That's why I want to kick start my new blog with a series of questions for you to think about relating to your own life.  I hope to eventually tell you about my life, how my experiences made me who I am and what I learned from those experiences. I’m sure my experiences can relate to yours in some way so if you would like you may continue reading this Happy YOU blog. It will be about how I learned to be myself, love myself and become a happy positive person.

But first you must ponder the following. Maybe you won't need to spend your time reading my blog.  Maybe you already know how to live a fulfilling life.  These questions might help you decide if you are doing what you want to do in life. 

Are you truly happy?

Do you like your life?

Do you complain or complement more?

Do you think negatively or positively?

Do you like yourself?

If you were having a conversation with your brain how long would you continue the conversation?

Do you like your job?

Do you like your friends?

Do you know activities/hobbies that make you happy?

Do you participate in the activities that make you happy daily, weekly, monthly or yearly?

What does a successful life look like to you?